Tag Archives: anxiety

HeLp Me

in my own body i am a hostage forever 

will i ever be free? β€œnever”

i have lost all of my control 

there is a girl inside of me playing my role

you cannot see. but she is currently holding a gun to my head

if i do something wrong β€œi will shoot you dead”

always awake. she never sleeps

she is my voice who speaks

i tried to fight her back

but she just attacked 

she tells me to shut up and sit quietly 

her name is β€œanxiety”

i thought she was only visiting me like a holiday in the city

but she moved into me. she is not very pretty 

so until she makes a sudden disappearance 

my job for now is only the appearance 

she granted me a pen so this poem i could write

to convince you i am crazy and not alright

russian roulette

playing russian roulette with ptsd anxiety and depression

which will i feel today is the question

will i get a blast from the past?

be reminded of all those times i got harassed?

is it time to flashback the torture?

is it time to flashback the trauma?

or will anxiety take the centre stage?

will she make me feel unwelcome and strange?

will i be treated to a breeze of knee shaking?

will she trap me so there is no escaping?

maybe depression will come out to play?

will she force me to stay in today?

is she going to keep me in my bed chained?

will she convince me even though it is sunny it had rained?

perhaps i am lucky and they will all keep me company at the same time

treated like a prisoner for an unknown crime

i feel so special to be loved this much

i pull the trigger to test my luck